


But I Crumble Completely When you Cry

by orphan_account



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 18:54:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4533339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Tommo, my dear?”</p>
<p>Louis’ head snaps up and he thinks he sees a bit of regret in Nick’s eyes or maybe it’s just the tears clouding his vision.</p>
<p>“We need to end this.”</p>
<p>(Or in which Louis and Nick's relationship moving forward is hindered and put in jeopardy by Harry's jealous scheme.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	But I Crumble Completely When you Cry

**Author's Note:**

> If....I can figure out what this is, then I'll let you know. Til then idk tell me it's good and stuff I guess?

 “N-Nick,” Louis moans, tugging at the older man’s hair.

 

Nick’s mouth only teases, leaving hot kisses up Louis’ trembling thighs. Louis has already come undone on Nick’s slender fingers three times and he wasn’t sure if he could _actually_ cum a fourth time, but they’ve been doing this too long to not actually go through with it all the way.

 

“What’s wrong, Princess?” Nick’s words are dripping with lust and his pupils are blown dark as he watches Louis’ body twitch and shake under him.

 

He knows exactly what Louis needs and nearly blocks the younger lad’s words out as he pulls away, reaching for a condom and lube. As per usual, Louis protests the condom and (as per usual) Nick explains that he _does still_ have to be up for work at half four…no matter what time he finishes with Louis and it’s currently nearly three.

 

A sigh of relief seems to leave both of their lips as Nick pushes in, taking no time in bottoming out. His actions earn him a loud whimper from Louis (who is now under him, making pathetic grabby hands.)

 

Nick slowly begins to fuck into Louis, biting and sucking at the petit boy’s neck as he pleased. They weren’t official, but Louis belongs to Nick. It’s simple. Their friends know it. They’re off limits to everyone, aside from each other.

 

They were, at least.

 

\--

 

“I’ll admit it, alright?” Louis’ voice is shaking, his phone is held tight in his hand and pressed against his ear.

 

Nick is watching Louis with an amused grin and dark eyes. He knows there’s nothing that can be done about Louis rather than let him speak. The younger lad was loud enough to be heard from rooms away regardless.

 

“I am pathetically and hopelessly in love with you, Nick. I don’t know how it happened through all of the fighting...but it happened.”

 

His eyes are watering and Louis immediately feels so stupid. They were only hookups and he managed to get hooked up on Nick. His charm, his smile, his eyes…every single last detail. Nick looks as if he’s pondering something, almost like he’s mulling over options in his head and it drives Louis crazy. Nick can say it back when they’re fucking, why can’t he say it now?

 

“Tommo, my dear?”

 

Louis’ head snaps up and he thinks he sees a bit of regret in Nick’s eyes or maybe it’s just the tears clouding his vision.

 

“We need to end this.”

 

The younger of the two lets out a sharp breath, as if he’s been punched in the gut. It was a sharp blow, a harsh twist of the knife. Louis is so sure of his feelings for Nick, how come Nick can’t feel the same way?

 

It isn’t fair.

 

Louis wants to scream out. _It isn’t fair_ and he knows it isn’t, but Nick is nearly 31 and he knows what is best for him. _Maybe_ , Louis thinks, _maybe a hook up isn’t what he needs. Maybe he has his eyes set on somebody. Maybe I was just a temporary thing. Somebody to fill the space in his sheets._

 

\--

 

Days later, Louis still can’t wrap his head around what happened. Nick doesn’t love him back. Everything they’d said to each other in bed meant nothing to Nick. It rips at his insides and it really does kill him to know. He wishes he would have stayed quiet and kept the bedroom talk for the bedroom. If Nick only wanted to tell Louis that he’s in love when he’s fucking him, so be it. At least Louis would have known that he really did mean it—he tells himself that he doesn’t really have to know if Nick means it and pretends he’s okay that way.

 

The news of a radio interview comes via email to their phones and Harry is the first to check it. Louis never cares about their schedules. He’s got to be there regardless and it’s more fun to stress Liam out by being clueless.

 

Harry lets out a groan and Louis is sure it’s the first sign of trouble.

 

“Haz?” Louis asks, trying to ignore the look of guilt surfacing in Harry’s eyes.

 

The Cheshire boy got the same look in his eyes when Louis told him about the encounter with Nick.

 

“We…have an interview with Nick. But, hey! It won’t be as bad as you think,” Harry says, moving his mouth away from his mug of tea. “It won’t be bad at all. It’s sort of like a Band-Aid. It really is sucky at first, but, then it gets better. Heartbreak is really bad, Lou. It’s really not that bad.”

 

Somehow, Louis found comfort in Harry’s words. Maybe he should be stressing more about being interviewed by the man who broke his heart...the man known to be snippy and spiteful at times, but, there was something calming about the younger boy trying his hardest to make Louis happy again. Harry truly was a good friend and Louis was so thankful to have somebody like him.

 

When Harry wraps his arms around Louis, he doesn’t say no and he doesn’t exactly welcome it either.

 

“Haz, it’s alright,” he whispers. “It’s all okay. I don’t need the whole cuddling aspect of a friendship, I just... I need to talk, Haz.”

 

When Harry refuses to let go of Louis, he sighs quietly and curled into the younger boy. He really was thankful, but he couldn’t handle all the physical contact. His heart hurt and it was all thanks to Nick.

 

\--

 

Once again, a radio interview. Once again with that stupid fucking boy named Nick Grimshaw. With his stupid dark looks and stupid smirks. Louis tries to tell himself that he hates Nick more than anything. He tries his hardest to convince himself that he can’t stand Nick. It clearly doesn’t work.

 

Louis is quiet during the interview. He gives short answers and refuses to look Nick in the eye. It’s really one of the worse interviews he’s ever given…and it only gets worse. Nick looks across the table at him with a smirk set on his stupid face as he speaks.

 

“So, Louis. Sounds like all the papers have been saying you’ve been looking a bit heartbroken lately. What’s the matter, love? Isn’t everything peachy?”

 

Harry shoots Nick a look and a protective hand pats Louis’ thigh. The boy shakes his head and refuses to answer, but, that isn’t enough for Nick.

 

“You’d think with the baby on the way and your new single..everything would be so nice. Who has you so down in the dumps?”

 

Nick keeps pressing with his eyes and Louis is having none of it. “Dunno, Grimmy,” he says. There’s sass in his voice, but, his eyes are watering. “Guess there’s just a ton of..stress.”

 

The answer seems to satisfy the radio listeners, but, what really makes Nick stop asking is the fact that Louis is one word away from breaking down in front of the nation.

 

The interview continues and Nick keeps shooting dirty looks towards Louis and damn near batting his lashes at Harry. Again, Louis thinks strange of the situation, but, again, there’s nothing he can do. They’re live for the world to hear and he can’t really be bothered at the moment.

 

During a break for a song, Liam checks on Louis with a quiet “are you alright, mate?”

 

The only people in the room who know what’s actually going on are Nick, Harry and Louis. Niall and Liam are clueless to the whole situation and Louis isn’t sure how to respond.

 

“You know...” he whispered, shrugging. “Just the usual Tomlinson and Grimshaw battles.”

 

While Nick and Louis were still sleeping together, they found it easiest to keep everything a secret by pretending to hate each other.

 

Now, they really weren’t pretending..at least Nick wasn’t.

 

\--

 

The tabloids were a mess for days. Nothing anybody said hit the nail on the head thankfully and it wasn’t until Zayn came over with plenty of weed for the night that Louis feels like talking.

 

“I really don’t know what to tell you, mate,” Zayn says behind a cloud of smoke. “He’s not this horrible _usually_. Maybe he’s just..trying not to like you because of the fan base.”

 

Louis gets a sense that this isn’t what’s going on though. He ignores his hunch and continues to roll them up another joint. While his hands are busy, his mind wanders to Nick and before he knows it, Louis is crying again.

 

“Mate..c’mon. I can’t stand seeing ya cry. You broke me when I told you I was leaving the band, don’t do this to me,” Zayn whispers.

 

 

 

There aren’t any thoughts going to his head at this point. Louis is high as can be and content with everything that is happening around him. Zayn’s arms wrapped around him seems like a safe place to be and he never wants to leave his safe place.

 

When he comes to his senses, Zayn is telling him that he’s rolled the joint too loose and he needs to redo it. It isn’t just Zayn’s words that bring Louis back, though. He feels his lips pressing to his neck and his head is tilted to give the other more room to kiss him.

 

His hands roam up into Zayn’s hair and Louis moves his head, pressing his lips against Zayn’s.

 

“Can’t..just please,” Louis whispered, needing something from Zayn. “Like we used to?”

 

Soon groans and whimpers coming from Zayn, Louis was teasing over the head of his cock. Their clothes were still on and this was nothing more than their usual high hooking up. Louis’ tongue knew the most sensitive parts of Zayn’s cock by now and he knew exactly how to get what he wanted.

 

Louis mouths and sucks at Zayn as if the moment isn’t going to last forever, because he knows it isn’t. Soon he’ll be sobered up and alone again, left with his thoughts of Nick _fucking_ Grimshaw. When Zayn finally does finish, Louis makes sure to swallow every last drop as he makes eye contact. He knows how Zayn likes it.

 

After Zayn leaves, Louis cleans up the mess they’d made of the living room and lights up the last joint left sitting on the table. He feels cheap, like he usually does when he’s messed around with Zayn, but it isn’t typically as bad. Tonight feels like he’s truly been used for something other than a lusty high.

 

\--

 

Harry is photographed leaving Nick’s flat several times and he’s even seen taking Pig out on walks. By himself. Louis can’t stomach the thought of Nick and Harry together, but, they have that same stupid fucking hipster vibe. Louis can see why Nick would fall for Harry—anybody could. It was easy.

 

Harry has those gorgeous curls and the most perfect green eyes that Louis has ever seen and (even if the fans wanted it to be so) Louis just can’t ever feel anything but a brotherly fondness for the younger boy.

 

Harry isn’t Louis’ type, but, somehow Nick is.

 

He isn’t quite sure how long he stares at the photos. Louis is livid, he knows that Nick and Harry are friends, but Harry’s been seen with so many damn hickies lately and he’s spending every waking moment that he can with Nick. They’re off tour now and Louis wants to see Nick as much as Harry does, but, it doesn’t work in his favor.

 

No matter how hard he tries, Louis can’t look away from all of the pictures and he even considers printing them out. If he printed the photos, he could put them on a dart board and— what was he thinking? Harry was his best mate, he can’t do anything to hurt him. No matter how much it stings.

 

\--

 

There has been several meetings between Nick and Louis since the radio interview and they’ve all been awful.

 

Louis’ personal favorite was on a night of some stupid awards show (they’re all the same popularity contest after a while.) Nick is scheduled to DJ an after party and unfortunately Louis is on the guest list.

 

In short, both Nick and Louis leave covered in mixed drinks they threw, but, they don’t leave together.

 

It isn’t until Harry shows up in tears that Louis feels his heart break again despite the run-ins for the second time in almost a year. It’s a different kind of heartache and this one seems to hurt more.

 

\--

 

As Harry breaks the news, Louis can feel his heart drop to his stomach. He also feels his head spin and he thinks he’s going to be sick. He stops Harry mid-sentence and comes back from his kitchen with two beers, when Harry declines, Louis quickly downs the first one.

 

Opening the second beer, Louis slides his feet under him on the couch and listens to Harry.

 

“I didn’t know what else to do, so I..sort of lied,” lying was so unlike Harry it’s almost scary to hear that he knows that the word means.

 

“You mean to tell me that Nick Grimshaw was only a plot in your game to get Zayn to want you back?” Louis can’t wrap his head around Harry’s story and he feels like he’s going to be sick.

 

Harry had started messing around with Nick around the same time that Zayn and Louis had been hooking up. Sure, Louis always had suspicion of Zayn and Harry, but after Zayn left, Louis thought their chemistry would have deflated as well.

 

“Yeah and..and he told me that..” Harry pauses and bites his lip. “Nick has feelings for you, Lou. He always has I..I warned him away from you.”

 

Louis’ eyes widen at that and his mouth goes dry. Sabotage was something completely unlike Harry.

 

“What do you..what?”

 

“I told him you were no good. Told him you’re a cheater and…just horrible stuff and I’m sorry Louis I just wanted to make Zayn jealous enough to want me back.”

 

Louis closes his eyes and offers Harry a tight hug, relief washing over him. He knew there had to have been another reason for Nick to be acting awful.

 

\--

 

“The hell do you want, Tomlinson?” Nick asks. He’s trying to keep up the act of hating Louis now.

 

“You know why I’m here..don’t deny it.”

 

Louis’ voice is soft and sweet. He bats his lashes and looks up at Nick with a fond smile. He only hopes his charm gets him inside the flat. As Nick steps to the side, Louis steps in and crouches down immediately to pet Pig.

 

“Pretty darling Pig pup. Lovely Pig dog. Hi. It’s been a while, hasn’t it Piggy girl?”

 

Brought out of his daze by Nick impatiently clearing his throat, Louis stands and blinks up at Nick. His heart is racing and he feels as if he’s going to throw up all over Nick’s carpet for a moment. He stays quiet until he can speak while being sure he isn’t going to spew.

 

“Harry lied to you about everything,” he says bluntly.

 

The look on Nick’s face is priceless. Almost as if he is saying that Louis is the biggest idiot out there and…maybe he is. If Nick wanted to listen to Harry a year ago, maybe he’d still believe Harry’s words now.

 

“You’re joking, right? You’re absolutely joking. Harry? Harry Styles? The kid who was never shown how to button a shirt and was never taught that haircuts are a wondrous thing? That Harry?”

 

Louis has to stop himself from laughing, because everything Nick is saying about Harry is true. He quickly reminds himself that Harry is the reason that he and Nick aren’t together right now before he can continue on.

 

“Yes. That Harry. Our little...” Louis breaks off and shakes his head, unsure of what he can even compare Harry to. Nick made it so easy, but here Louis is struggling. “Regardless, Harry lied. He told me last week. He lied about me being a dick. He lied about me being unfaithful. Fucks sake, Nick. I really meant it. I love you.”

 

His tears are back and he can’t let himself back down now. If he’s going to do anything, he might as well make it last and make an impression. Nick has already shot him down and broken his heart once, what’s a second go around?

 

“I looked forward to your texts..even if they were booty calls because fucking Michael didn’t get you off the right way and you needed somebody who knew what they were doing with you. Nick I fell in love with you because of those stupid moments we spent curled up with Pig on the couch or in your sheets with a cuppa talking about how stupid it was that you had to be up at asscrack o’clock. There were so many nights that you called me over just because you wanted a conversation.

 

“So many nights that you  didn’t even want to get off. You just wanted my company and you can’t deny it. I still read through our old texts — how pathetic, right?” Louis lets out a small laugh before continuing, shaking his head. “Fucks sake, Nicholas. I love you. I love the way you look at me in the morning, when I can barely open my eyes. I love how you’re the only person on this earth that can make my tea just the way I like it.”

 

He’s out of breath and judging by the look on Nick’s face, Louis needs to stop talking. Nick doesn’t look like he needs to speak up and say anything, Louis knows that if that were the case he would have been spoken over by now.

 

Louis’ eyes dart to the bedroom, the door wide open and Michael laying sprawled out. He isn’t sure if he’s awake or asleep, but, it’s the warning he needs.

 

“We’re sort of..trying things out together,” Nick shrugs and there isn’t a hint of regret in his voice.

 

Louis thinks he almost looks annoyed with him.

 

“You’re fucking kidding me, right? You’re kidding me. This is all some fucking joke. You can’t be serious. _Him_?” He snaps.

 

He isn’t sure where the anger is coming from, but it’s coming.

 

“Michael? Michael the fucking half-assed thug, wannabe? He isn’t even talented! He points a fucking lens and lets mirrors to the work! It’s not that hard, Nicholas, even I could do it. Fucks sake, Pig could take better photos!”

 

At the mention of her name, Pig lets out a distressed yelp and he isn’t sure if she’s concerned for the yelling or if she’s really responding. It’s almost as if she’s agreeing with Louis and he’s going to take it as such. Nick was about to open his mouth to speak.

 

“No, fuck you, Grimshaw. I’m not finished. How fucking long did you lead me on? Do you remember? Because I do. It was six fucking months. Making me dinner, asking me to spend the night. Telling me I was only yours, telling me you loved me..maybe I was the stupid fucking fool in between the sheets with the dazzling older man though, huh? Maybe I should have caught on to the fact that you are no better than any of the fucking others I’ve ever let touch me. Aside from Zayn. He actually cares. You would have said anything to get me into bed with you, wouldn’t you have, Nick? Is Michael that easy, too? Do you like them stupid and easy? Because the more I see of you and the way you’re acting…that’s all I was. Stupid and easy. At least I was good, huh? I bet someone like that… _god_ he has face tattoos, Nick. Fucking face tattoos!”

 

Louis is shaking and he can’t find any more words. He isn’t exactly sure of half of what he’d said, but he does know he had been yelling up at Nick for the last 10 minutes. His throat hurts and there’s still so much left to say.

 

“Louis William fucking Tomlinson,” Nick says.

 

The boy nearly melts at the way Nick says his name. Low and raspy and filled with an emotion he’d never head directed at him before. There’s shivers traveling his spine and he’s not even sure what Nick is doing as he grabs his hips and pulls Louis closer.

 

“You’re a little firecracker and you’re damn lucky you’re cute. You’re about the only person I know better than to talk over…because you’ll manage to only get louder and I love that about you.”

 

His eyes go wide as he looks up at Nick and he suddenly finds it hard to breathe. Nick presses their lips together in a hard kiss and neither of them notice when Michael slips out, spewing profanities. Louis must have woken him up with all his yelling and — if he cared, Louis would have broken their kiss to apologize.

 

Louis is blissed out. Over a year since Nick had kissed him or paid him any sort of positive attention and now here he is, getting all of Nick’s attention. All of it.

 

“I love you,” Nick says without a care. “I love you.”


End file.
